My Testimony

Hello! My name is Vannessa Gunnell, and I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am a relatively new convert (about a year and a half). I used to really like writing in grade-school, so I figured I could attempt to write my experiences and explore my appreciation for the gospel through blogging. I am praying that writing about the gospel will not only bring me closer to my Father in Heaven, but help me learn more of Him. But in order to start, I have to briefly explain how I discovered the church myself.

"Yea, even that ye would have so much faith as even to plant the word in your hearts, that ye may try the experiment of its goodness." - Alma 34:4

Life is full of challenges. Each of us can testify to that. Before I had discovered the church, I had been going through some particularly hard challenges. I was battling habits that I didn't think I would ever be able to shake off, nor did I have the desire to try. I was raised a Catholic. Well, by "raised" a Catholic I mean that we went to church twice a year. I had tried going to different churches throughout my life. I guess you could say I was "church hopping." Each of the churches I went to were great, but they didn't stick. I have always known that I believed in God and I believed in Christ, but where was He when times were rough? When I was deep into my habits, I wanted next to nothing to do with religion. I didn't see how God would help me, because He didn't seem to be there at all. After years of struggling with these habits and addictions, I ended up in an extremely tough spot. These habits had often ended up with me in the hospital, and that's where I was at this time. But this hospital stay was different in more ways than one. I had a recurring thought, and it said: "you are not going to get through any of this without something to believe in." Now, the "old" Vannessa (meaning Vannessa before the gospel) would tell you that I still didn't want to change after I had this thought. However, I can tell you now that this was the thought that triggered a light of desire. That light was very dim at this point, but it was there.

While I was still in the hospital, I spent my free time googling about different forms of Christianity, and I came across the Word of Wisdom from Mormonism.  For those of you who don't know, the Word of Wisdom is the Mormon belief of taking care of yourself. It entails not drinking coffee/tea, staying away from substances such as alcohol and drugs, getting the proper amount of sleep and exercise, etc. "Your body is the instrument of your mind.  In your emotions, the spirit and the body come closest to being one.  What you learn spiritually depends, to a degree, on how you treat your body" (Boyd K. Packer). Obviously, anybody can make good health choices. Anyone can choose not to drink alcohol or coffee, with or without a religion. But it was something I felt made sense for me at the time, and I grew curious. So, while I was still in the hospital, I called the missionaries and scheduled a meeting with them to ask some questions.

"Let them go two by two, and thus let them preach by the way in every congregation, baptizing by water, and the laying on of the hands by the water’s side." D&C 52:10

I met with the missionaries as soon as I was released from the hospital. The only person who knew about my meeting was my mom (she was driving me around at the time, I wasn't able to drive by myself when I was first discharged). I did not want anybody to know that I was meeting with them. Now when you read that, you may think I was embarrassed. I wasn't. I just wanted my investigation to be something that I did on my own without the influence of others. Ironically enough, the missionaries and I decided to meet at a coffee shop called Caribou. I remember going and ordering a drink before I sat down with the missionaries at the table. It was nice out, so they were sitting outside. I remember the first thing I said was: "Don't worry. It's just hot chocolate." They laughed and said, "we wouldn't judge you if you had coffee."

The missionaries’ names were Sister Pead and Sister Hulet. Missionaries are men (elders) or women (sisters) who choose to go to another state or country for eighteen months to two years in order to help spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. Sister Pead and Sister Hulet were assigned to serve a mission in Minnesota, and they were in my area at the time. And boy am I glad they were.

Now many current or past missionaries have told me, "when serving a mission people will tell you their life story after you meet them while walking across the street." Well I was not someone to tell these girls too much about myself right when I met them. I focused mainly on asking questions, learning about them and learning about what they believed in for the first few times we met. Eventually these two sisters became people I felt comfortable enough to call every day and cry to. I was still struggling with my habits when I met them, but when they gave me my first Book of Mormon, I started reading it in place of my addictions. It took some time, but after years of struggling with things that I assumed would always be there, I started to see the world through a different lens. I didn't think I would ever live without my habits because I thought they made me "who I was." But reading the Book of Mormon helped me see that my life was worth so much more than I ever thought possible. The missionaries told me to read my Book of Mormon and to pray if it was true, and I did just that. I didn't even fully understand what I was reading and I knew that it was true! Why? Because I wanted to keep reading it. And continuing to read that book meant I had to keep choosing to try. I knew what I was reading was true before I finished the entire book! The day I stepped into that coffee shop to meet with the sisters the first time, I was forever changed; without me even realizing it. I didn't change because the missionaries told me to, I changed because I finally had the form of help that I was lacking: the restored gospel. Did the trials I was facing in life go away after reading a chapter out of book that made next to zero sense to me at the time? Absolutely not. It took a continuous effort. But my way of thinking, my way of living, and my attitude changed 100%. And I know I didn't get to that point of change on my own. That's what made me sit with the missionaries in the coffee shop, maybe three weeks after first meeting them, and say "what do I have to do in order to get baptized?"

 But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. - D&C 9:8

Doctrine and Covenants 9:8 is the scripture that I'd unexpectedly flipped to when I was praying about being baptized. I literally just flipped to a random page scripture after an earnest prayer, and that's where my fingers lead me. And wildly enough, yes, my chest did burn. Not only did my chest burn, but I felt unbelievably complete. I felt whole. The words "whole" and "complete" don't even come close to describing the feelings I was experiencing in that moment. I just wanted to run outside and yell "THE RESTORED GOSPEL IS TRUEEEE!!!" to my entire neighborhood. That feeling was my first experience with the Spirit. I knew that getting baptized was something I needed to do because Heavenly Father confirmed it for me. Making the decision to be baptized was the first - and I mean the FIRST - decision I ever made without another human being influencing my decision. Sure, Sister Pead and Sister Hulet were there as support, but I made the decision to be baptized. Not my mom, not my dad, not a mental health professional, just me and God. And that surprised me because for the first time in a long time, I was making a healthy choice for myself. I was choosing to put my own needs first. I was choosing a better life. I was choosing to improve. And boy was that an amazing feeling.

"We don’t just try and try on our own to change. If we earnestly appeal to God, He takes us as we are—and makes us more than we ever imagined." - Neill F. Marriott

Since I became a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I have received numerous Facebook messages and texts from Christian friends of mine who are not of the same faith. A few of them have expressed sadness and disappointment for my decision to become a Mormon, and others have asked “what made you do this? Are you still a Christian? Do you still read the bible?” Let me share my heart with you if you’re reading this: I love you and appreciate your messages. Yes, I am still a Christian. (The Church is called “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints”). Yes, I still read the bible. In fact, Mormons believe in almost everything that the average Christian believes, we just believe in some additional things along with that. The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ does not replace the bible in any way. We believe that it’s another testament of Jesus Christ. We read and love them both the same. If you still have questions, I invite you to visit Mormon.org for more information.

If you are still reading this, congratulations because this was really long! I love this gospel and I am so grateful for this church. This church has brought me many blessings and it still continues to do so. It helped me find my purpose and inspiration through the tough times. I am so grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ, and I am happy to call him my brother and friend. I am blessed to have the Holy Ghost with me each moment of every day, and I am happy that I now know that “I am a child of God, and He has sent me here” (I Am a Child of God, Hymn #301).